It was hard to settle from the very beginning, everyday was very long, food was limited, play mates were rough and mother visited for a shorter period and some days she wouldn’t . We lived in the same place, she was only a km away from grandma’s place. But that km seemed like a thousand miles. Oh mother! If only you could see how my heart yerns for your love, If only you could see how I wish you would hold me tight. Tigi Tigi Tigi Tigi Tigi Tigi Tigi my heart beat became intense everyday.
So it happened that this other day mother came to visit, she came with a plate with food inside for the 2 of us, still I was surprised, how come someone leaves their kids with a guardian who has kids and grandkids but then dish a plate for her own kids, how about those who have been taking care of your own kids🙄, I was not used to this, mommy grandma (partenal grand mother ) would make a bowel full of porridge for everyone. We would eat and be filled up then go play. so à group of other kids who were playing with us waited to be called for a plate and once they were asked to come and eat everyone ran to have a bite, it just happened that one of the kids stepped on my thumb with a shoe and bruised it. The pain was unbearable so I started crying.. This remind me of my kids once something upset them and I happen to ignore them. They will cry until I call them for a hug and hush kisses, then the pain will dissappear. This one of the powers mothers hold. As I was crying the spoilt brat in me waited for that hug since I haven’t had it before. I cried because it was painful but part of me was just waiting for that “hush baby girl, mama is here”. It’s so unfortunate, I should have known by now that it was not going to happen. Before I knew it there was nothing in the plate, they didn’t wait for me.. Oh boy! I was very hungry. Damn! my thumb was aching and so was my stomach.
My aunt felt for me and asked me to cook porridge for myself and I couldn’t wait so I went to the fireplace and started preparing the fire so I can cook.. Oh I wish I could show you how my mom stood before me, with both her hands on her waist. And she was like “so now they told you not to eat food prepared by me?”. The last words pained me and I stopped what I was doing and left.. “next time when my child visit please don’t come,” these are the words that came out of the woman who gave birth to me, God what did I ever do to her to deserve such resentment. Is she really my mom or they just adopted me? Could there be something I am not being told?. This time around the pain was too much and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. This lady was onto me and she was not going to stop until she destroyed me.. 😭😭⛔